living, not suffering!

I've thought long and hard about posting in regards to this. What kind of image do I want to portray as a freelance photographer? As a professional? I was told just a few days ago "The best advice I ever received was Fake it till you Make it."

Dane Sanders would cringe in his seat! As he writes, the best thing to do is be real. It's ok if people know I am just starting out, if they know I don't have as much experience as others. And I finally decided that it's ok for them to know that I live, and work, with chronic illness. Not as a sympathy card, but perhaps I can inspire someone. I'm no hero by any means, and I will have limitations on shoots I can do, equipment I can carry and hours I can work. But I will be creative and work around it.

*deep breath*  I live with Fibromyalgia.

Let me be clear, I don't have fibro. I don't suffer from fibro. I want to be clear... I LIVE with fibro. I live life as much as I can. I say to heck with it and do things even if I'm not sure I can. And I'm proud of it.

I was diagnosed last year and the adjustment has been huge! I felt like it was a sentence almost. But I realize that I have no control over how fibro affects me, but I do have a choice on how I manage it. So I've been trying to have a better diet, I use essential oils for anything I can.

I'm seeing a wonderful team of docs for paint management, PT (physical therapy) and psychology at the Honolulu Pain Management Clinic. It's been a life saver! They are teaching me how to use my medications, I'm re-learning how to be active again in ways that won't cause me pain, and I have someone who is helping me deal with the mental and emotional hurts that I don't realize I have.

So I decided that if I have to live with something so difficult physically, then the least I can do for myself is make the other parts of my life as enjoyable as possible. That includes my career. I've worked for myself before, in business and accounting. But now I am looking at taking my passion and turning it into a way to not only support myself but a way to contribute to society in a more fulfilling way than I ever could imagine.

Photography is such a powerful tool. You are recording history. Capturing moments that, once they occur, are gone forever. It's truly magic. You can evoke feelings, memories, emotions. You can convince people to support a cause, to buy anything you want to sell, to can educate them. And you can bring happiness.

Seeing my psych, he also had a huge revelation that will impact my life in the most powerful way yet. He thinks I have adult ADHD. I will be diagnosed for sure in two days. I was terrified to tell anyone, because of the stigma and the stereotypes. *deep breath again*

But instead I have decided that I am who I am. I am strong, confident, intelligent, resourceful, creative and most of all I am not afraid.

So I have Fibromyalgia. I have ADHD. I will be a successful business owner. And if I am lucky and blessed enough I can use my talents to bring education, acceptance and understanding to others. 

Thanks in advance for listening :)