blueberry pancakes...

it's funny... sometimes in life when you have alot of change going on your feel the need for something familiar and comforting. even if we don't recognize the stress or the need, it's there. like a blanket, we want to be wrapped in something that brings comfort and makes up feel like everything is ok. it's instinctive.

well so much has been happening lately, between the move, the website, shoots, work, doctors... i was sitting here this morning watching hurricane irene hit the east coast and it made me sad. it was cool and quiet on the lanai, traffic hadn't started yet. there was a light sprinkle of a rain, so peaceful. made me want to curl up on the couch. and what popped into my mind as i'm thinking over the day.... blueberry pancakes.

sitting at a large oval table, with mismatched plates. the smell of butter browning in a pan, hearing the plop-sizzle when you flip a pancake onto it's uncooked side. warm blueberry wafting in the air. noise... sisters and brothers all about the house, talking, scooting chairs, step dad talking to the dog in that goofy voice he always does. mom talking from her desk chair as she reads us an interesting passage from a sermon she found.

dipping my finger into the uncooked batter, that bitter-sweet-salty-tingly taste that i love.  and remembering the site of that pancake as its hot and fresh slid out of the pan directly onto my plate before we went back to cook more for my sister. the crisp, golden butter edge with a teeny bit of crunch. fluffy softness, smothered in butter and syrup. and the juice of all the blueberries staining the pancake in a beautiful purple color. it's warm and early morning still, quiet outside. family time. i am home, i am safe, i am comforted. and when i am done i will curl up on mom's couch, and nap with the smell easing me into sleep.

this is where is there is no animosity among adults, no arguing over religion and relationships. no difference of opinion and hurtful words. this is safe, this is home, this is comfort and love.

it struck me as odd that as i'm here with these thoughts as 31 year old woman, on her lanai in hawaii enjoying her weekend morning. but i take this little token, put it in a special place in my mind and know that it will always be there no matter where i am.

onward and upward ...