so many options!

I've been reading a book by Dane Sanders with a very different perspective on photography which was really given me a confidence I didn't have before. Essentially saying you can't be the best photographer in the world, because everyone is so different and there are so many markets. But you can be the best YOU that there is.

I had such a hard time realizing what I like. I was photographing things I liked, in a style all my own without knowing it. And when I sat and thought "Hmm... what kind of pictures do I want to take?" I felt overwhelmed at the choices and wasn't sure what I would be best at, what I would enjoy the most. It was like being faced with a choice similar to "What college degree do you want?" 

I never went to college because I couldn't decide. I felt this pressure that I had to pick a career, something, anything. And then I needed a degree in that something so that I could spend 4+ years learning about it, 8 years paying off the student loans and 40 years working towards a gold watch. I think that's an amazing thing for people to do, and I'm in NO way knocking or downplaying it. I wish I had the ability to do that. But just the thought of doing it because it was "the thing to do" just made me sick to my stomach.

I would rather be homeless and working random jobs to earn money than do something I didn't absolutely love. I wish I was a responsible adult who chose a profession and excelled at it, had stability in my life, and was also happy with that.

So back to topic, I was starting to feel that choosing a specific type of photography was the same sort of choice. And I was beginning to feel less like a creator and more hopeless. Then the thought of running a business and having so little time for actual photography... There HAS to be a better way!

I want to be an artist for the sake of being an artist for crying out loud! I'm already in the business world, I already have done consulting and accounting and HR... I don't want to become a photographer to do all of those things. *sigh*

So reading Dane Sanders' book has been like a breath of fresh air. It helped me find myself in a way and realize that I actually can do what I love -- create. Outsource and automate and simplify. Realize that I already shoot what I love and I have to embrace that. That I am the only me in the world, focus on my strengths and realize my weaknesses aren't my downfall. And in doing that I will become successful doing what I crave every minute of everyday. In that I will finally find the ultimate happiness, satisfaction I've been searching for. In that, my stability will come from my ability to change, grow and create.

I'm excited and it keeps me pushing through each day at the office, realizing that I'm already on the road and my time in a 'job' grows shorter each day.

happy wednesday :)